Just Give Into Your "I Need A Treat" Impulses And Buy Something From This List
1. A blackhead-removing toy you can pick and prod at with tweezers like you're performing surgery alongside your Grey's Anatomy colleagues. But for real, it helps if you're prone to picking your skin or pulling out hair when you're stressed!!
2. A pair of LED light saber chopsticks sure to inspire a lil' food fight. Though I'm talking a fake one, of course, because sushi is too expensive for you to be throwing anywhere other than down
3. A beard straightener if oils and balms have proven insufficient in your efforts to tame your facial hair. This lil' tool has three heat settings, reaches your desired temp in just 30 seconds, and reduces frizz as it works.
4. A microwaveable, lavender-scented weighted plushie that'll come in clutch whenever you're dealing with a bout of anxiety, braving a really bad tummy ache, or could just use a warm embrace.
5. A full-body bath pillow so you can roll off of your regular mattress and onto your submerged mattress.
6. And a wine/can holder because sometimes, a bath bomb just isn't enough. Real ones know that true R&R involves a chilled glass of sickly sweet Barefoot attached securely to your shower wall — not perched precariously on the lip of your tub.
7. A pound of cereal marshmallows if you're really only buying Lucky Charms for the charms (duh) and tossing away the rest.
8. A pair of '70s-style yellow tinted aviators you can get away with on days that are really too overcast for sunglasses but they complete your fit, so they're a nonnegotiable.
9. A mini pink ATM that was def made with children in mind, but look, you simply can't be trusted with cash on hand — especially if you live near a coffeeshop with delicious $7 cold brew.
10. Or — if that's too basic — an uncanny valley-esque piggy bank that will either delight you or come for you in the middle of a sleep paralysis episode. It's really a toss-up — just don't say we didn't warn you.
11. An adorable mushroom nightlight, because no matter your age, the dark can be a scary thing — especially when you're stealthily sneaking into the kitchen to grab a midnight snack.
12. A set of nostalgic NES cartridge coasters sure to bring you back to simpler childhood days when you spent hourssss playing Super Mario Bros. and Donkey Kong in your mom's basement.
13. A smol, octupus-shaped exfoliating stick that gently removes blackheads, whiteheads, and excess sebum so your T-zone can get a much-deserved breather.
14. A memory foam baguette wrist rest to keep your arms stress-free from the time you log on to Slack to the time you close your computer for the night (4:59:59 p.m.).
15. A clever mug — that looks like a whole pot of coffee — if you're the type of person who's always glued to your brew.
16. Or a set of blooming tea balls for the tea drinker who is eager to show everyone that looseleaf can be just as aesthetic as latte art!!!
17. A custom Pokémon card in the likeness of your pet!!! You can choose their Pokémon type, species, attacks, rarity, and more.
18. A nutrient-rich, banana-scented overnight mask that comes in delightfully realistic packaging and smells EXACTLY like a Laffy Taffy. Idc what anyone says, banana candy is supreme.
19. An adorable cow print ottoman with two horns and four widdle legs. 🥺 While it'd make a great nursery piece, I think I'd want it in the living room so if my cat jumped up it'd look like she was entering her first rodeo.
20. A reusable straw — in a darling lil' keychain carrier — so you can suck down bubble tea at a moment's notice!!
21. A puffer jacket koozie for the person who's always sipping on an artisanal double IPA that was fermented in a painfully trendy Portland craft brewery and — if anyone asks — is absolutely worth the $14 you paid for a single can.
22. A ceramic lips planter that makes me think of both The Rolling Stones and The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Basically, it makes me want to throw open the windows, enjoy the breeze, and sing along (badly) to songs that I only know 50% off the lyrics to.
23. A miniature library or greenhouse kit with real LED lights if you were the type of kid who LOVED making dioramas for class. Now, you can make one in your spare time and then force your friends to take a "tour" whenever they're over.
24. A gooseneck tablet and phone stand you can hook up to your bed frame or nightstand so you can mindlessly scroll TikTok — look, Ma, no hands! — while Netflix also plays in the background.
25. A Fujifilm Instax Mini Evo Instant Camera that combines the best of both worlds with a digital screen so you can actually see 👀 what you're shooting and then print your favorite pic on demand. It also connects to your phone via app and has a micro SD card so you can save all of your memories.
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